Here We Go...AGAIN!!

Is it really November already?! Yes, it is and that means I have signed up for the Vancouver marathon and started training once again! This time not so much drama but certainly enough that I would be starting all over again from square one. It turns out, not entirely from square one as I have sports bra, shoes, orthotics, and plus size running capri's in my bag of goodies from my last attempt. I have dusted off the treadmill and started again with the one and one - this is just painful to think of starting all over again when my teammates have all tasted sweet success, hugged a hunky fireman and are wearing Tiffany jewels! Anyway, other than a big giant cramp in my hamstring I actually didn't do as bad as the firt time around and even went for the 2 and 1 during my week 1 training! Yes, that's right, 2 minutes of running straight out of the barrel! You go girl!
It is also very ironic that my starting out again coincides with Lew's big week of ablative chemo and stem cell transplant. Friday was Lew's big day and I had planned to be there for his big transplant celebration. Unfortunately, although I am healthy, Jack woke up with a fever and it just seemed too risky to be around Lew. Sorry Lew and Rose - I wanted to be there for you! We have so many 1940's musicals to catch up on!
I am planning on continuing with fundraising (there is just absolutely no good reason to run a marathon unless we are going to cure myeloma!) and because Vancouver has a lower fundrasising goal than San Fransisco more money will be going directly towards finding a cure for Lew! If anyone out there wants to join me I will meet with you every week to run and raise money!
As an update, the wonderful Clint Smith has stepped up to the plate!! He has joined the team! Yesterday, he asked me if we "are going to be the only two fatties on the team?" Hmm....so glad that I can serve as an inspiration to fat people everwhere. Yes Clint, we are! (It turns out my uterus didn't weigh 50 pounds like I thought it would!) This team looks exceptionally young and fit so its just you and me bringing up the rear! My pastor says he is going to run the marathon as well - I am not sure if this is for him or for me - as last time I did see Jesus a time or two.
For all of you who have supported me through this HUGE event - I continue to thank you and count you as a blessing each day! I am going to run this marathon for you, for me and especially for Lew!! Go Team!

Finally An Update!

So sorry for not getting back to most of you sooner! I've actually felt pretty blah until today. Day 1-3 weren't bad at all, I was thinking, what a piece of cake - I should have stayed in the marathon! Day 4 -5 were pretty miserable - I was not only thinking no marathon but would I ever recover? Day 6-7 got a little better and today is pretty great! As far as pathology I have all good news! During surgery my surgeon sent a frozen section that come back without any trophoblastic cells. Monday, the pathology report on the entire mass and uterus came back negative for any cancer cells (it turns out the pregnancy was embedded into the muscle of the uterus so there really was not another option) and today I FINALLY got a zero HCG! It is quite bittersweet to hear the good news of a negative HCG when for so long that is exactly what you are fighting to hear a positive result on.
I have learned what an incredible support system I have! Laurie Bethke, the amazing Lew and Rose (who drove all the way from Bellingham) and of course John were all on hand for my pre-surgery hysteria including the hugging of the anesthesiologist! Laurie, bless her heart, was my personal nurse during the whole event. She provided thoughtful treats of lotions and potions and heat packs and other unmentionable amenities - Wow, she is amazing! And thanks to wonderful IV narcotics it was like girls night out for me - she might have a different take on this!
My dear friend, Tanya, provided a wonderful visit with treats and "piece of serenity" that I will cherish forever. Overlake hospital and the amazing Dr. Haines and his nurse, Kathy who both handed me Kleenex until I considered stock in the company. And the list of amazing people who keep bringing meals and cards and emails! My Team in Training coaches and teammates have all sent such wonderful support - I can't wait to get back to running again - (could I still have lingering anesthesia fogging my brain?!)
I have not forgotten any of you who called and left messages or emailed etc... I felt every single prayer and it provided more than you will ever know! Thank you to everyone for getting me through this incredible ordeal. And now, (knock on wood) nothing is going to stop me now!! Onward to Vancouver!!!

Not giving up!!

I have really struggled with this post, taking it and out of draft and not sure really what I wanted to say. At first I was angry/sad/discouraged all at the same time. I'm not ready to end our reproductive life! I am running a marathon! I am too distrustful of medical people (oh wait, that's me) to have a big surgery! I am freaked out about it being trobphoblastic! My blog started out: "a tiny setback turns big" "and are you kidding me!!" I was well on my way to a full blown angry/pity party! But now that I've had a week to think about it and sort of relax about it (OK, not even close to relax), I think I am instead going to go with "there is no way this is going to stop me!!" and "I AM running a marathon!!" It may not be in October but I AM running a marathon!!
So after last week's surgery center/ambulance event I had my follow up appt. with not such good news. They found a 12 cm mass in my uterus, most likely retained products from our pregnancy, that will not respond to drugs, D&C etc... Some concerns are another hemorrhage, infection or that it is trophoblastic disease. Unfortunately, after much discussion and many medical opinions the only option left is a hysterectomy. Deep breath/long pause/silence....

It turns out hysterectomy and marathon do not go hand in hand. Interestingly enough when my doctor told me, my first words were, "but I am running a marathon and people gave me money"! He said, "no, your not running a marathon". After trying to think of every way possible to have a full blown abdominal surgery and still run in October it looks like the surgery can't wait and the running will have to. I immediately called Team in Training straight out of the parking lot and they so kindly are transferring all my fundraising to the next marathon I am available for. I am thinking Vancouver B.C. in May?!
So anyway, I am still freaked out, but not entirely hysterical, and surgery is scheduled for Wednesday with a 3 day wait on getting the pathology back on the mass. Thank you to everyone who called, sent cards, left messages and posted here. You are all fabulous and appreciated! I will not be deterred! I will continue to support Lew and every one of you who gave me a donation - I AM RUNNING A MARATHON!

A Tiny Setback

Where do I even begin to tell this story?! OK, so if you are keeping up with the blog you know the whole methotrexate story and the continued elevated HCG saga. So, I went to a specialist who after much labwork and multiple diagnostic procedures decides to do a repeat D&C. I thought, no problem! I will have it on Thursday, be back to running on Friday and have my long run on Saturday. Well, the best laid plans....the next thing I know I am waking up from anesthesia in an ambulance! My first words are, "what happened?" The medic says, "you lost a lot of blood", I say, "am I tachycardic?" he, says, "No, you are bradycardic" I say, "how much fluid have I had?" He says, "this is your 3rd liter". I say, "oh". When we get to the ER I hear that I lost 1200ml of blood and was hypotensive in the OR. Hmm... I am watching the monitor and my heart rate is running between 48-58 and BP 92/62. It seems my vitals have been in this range for a while so the nurse says to me, "It so strange, its almost like you are a marathon runner!!! I lit up like a fireplug and am absolutely beaming and I say to her, "well, as a matter of fact, I'm training to run a marathon!!! That nurse just made my day and every single drop of blood was worth it (well almost)! John pipes in and tells the nurse, "you do know you are going on the blog". She looks somewhat baffled but I guess it never occurred to her to ask me if I was in fact a runner?! I am sure she did the marathon scan and thought, um no, not a chance.

Which leads to the the next conversation that John and I had. He apparently thought it was pretty funny to inform me that maybe I should consider getting a medic alert bracelet that says: despite my "incredible" physique I am in fact a marathon runner - Beware of great vital signs! (OK, this made me laugh out loud!)
So today, I should be running 12 miles and I am home rebuilding red blood cells. I asked my doctor if I could still run and she thought I had lost my mind but I am really am afraid to miss any training. As it is, I am barely going to make the time limit and this is crucial training time. I feel like I am just about to get over the hump. Today, was going to be our second 12 mile run and it was going to be pretty telling that the first time wasn't a fluke.
I have my next doctor appt. on Tuesday so I may try and do a long run on Wednesday. Anybody game for meeting me at Pt. Defiance park for a long run?

More Thank You's!!

This has been an incredible team effort and there aren't enough thank yous to go around! To those of you who sent me cash donations and didn't get recognized on my fundraising page: David Pilkenton, Kim Smith, my parents, and my dear sister, Michelle - aka: my faraway mentor! Wow! Thank you!
To everyone who has worked a Saturday shift for me so I can attend team practices: Ann Kellogg, Meesa Taylor, Lisa Wochester, Adam, Sue Pederson, Vicki - Wow, thank you!
To everyone who has sent words of encouragement - I think of every one of them when I am running - no kidding! Wow! Thanks!
To everyone who sees me, doesn't run the opposite direction and excitedly asks how my training is going (I know you would rather poke your eyes out than hear me talk about running yet again!) Thank you!
And of course my dear husband (who I have been teasing a lot lately) - for always being there so I can train, setting me up with fancy gear (ipods and nikeplus technology etc...), fixing the treadmill, being supportive and teaching Jack to say Go Team Mommy!
All this and I haven't even run the marathon yet! Wow! I just couldn't wait to say thank you! I am sure there are many more to come!!

A Runner's High?

I had an awesome run tonight! I happened to be on the treadmill because it got late before I could fit it in and I was feeling good. It wasn't a particularly long run but I was enjoying it (did I really just say that?!). I could see the moon outside and I was smiling and thanking God for making it this far - yes, I was actually smiling while running! The next thing I know I was visualizing myself making it to the finish line thinking maybe fat girls can run a marathon and then another thought came into my head, "I think I can play the saxophone!" Where did that come from? Is this a runner's high?! So of course I go and tell my husband. "I think I had a runners high, I think I can play the saxophone!" His reply, (think flat affect here) "What? Have you lost your mind? You ARE high. Not that I want to make your blog again." So of course I'm outing him - I said, You are soooo going on the blog!!!! Yes, we are still speaking....for now! And maybe I will take up the saxophone!

An Update on Lew

Most of you are receiving Lew's email update but for those of you who are not, I know you are quite interested in how he is doing. Lew is heading into one of his toughest battles yet. In September he will be doing high dose chemo followed a few weeks later by the first of two stem cell transplants. He says he feels like, so far, he is weathering this chemo well with just some complaints of insomnia, an increased appetite and some peripheral neuropathy.
Since Lew and Rose live in Bellingham and are receiving their treatment at Seattle Cancer Care Alliance they are certainly facing an added challenge not only with driving down for twice a week chemo's but also because during stem cell transplants they will need to be within 30 minutes of the hospital - not an easy task in Seattle.
The good news: one major marker in Lew's myeloma cells have shown a marked decrease AND Lew is still maintaining his positive attitude and sense of humor. Rose of course remains a rock and as usual is there for everyone!
Prayers for them both!