26.2 AND $4500! !!!! Can you believe it!!!!

Wow!!! I don't even know where to begin!! Running a marathon officially goes down as one of my top five experiences in life! I know - who would have thought anything so annoying to train for and hard to do would have such a payoff! It was fantastic!!

When I started this crazy thing one year ago my goal was to raise money to help find a cure for multiple myeloma for my dear friend Lew Stanford. I knew that if I agreed to do something so far outside my comfort zone, something that could compare to poking sharp sticks in my eyes then my friends and family would give me money. And yes they did!!! They came through like the impressive people that they are!!! I just had to do my part and do the outrageous out of my comfort zone thing of not only running but agreeing to run a full fledged marathon. Of course, I had no idea what lay ahead and the year would prove to be more challenging both emotionally and physically that I could have imagined. The obstacles were many but as my dear friend Bonita says, "You've got grit!"

I won't re-hash the whole year but lets just say arriving at the starting line felt like victory in itself. Standing there that morning getting ready to go made me a tad bit nervous but at the same time I also just knew that if I made it to starting line I would make it to the finish line.

Things that made me nervous at the starting line:
1. I thought that all the elite runners would be mean to us "running for a cause" (read: slow and pudgy) runners. I thought they would think that we were in their way. Turns out, not true at all! They were incredibly encouraging! "You can do it!" and "Go princess" were just a couple of the encouragements they yelled out as they dashed past me!

2. I was nervous about not being able to use my i-pod. I had trained all season with it because it was easier for me to get into my "zone" and performance is shown to be improved by as much as 10%. Turns out I am glad I didn't have it! I would have missed out on the encouragement being yelled out, not to mention the other amazing sounds. I heard feet dragging, people vomiting, runners yelling at their joints to "keep going" and so much more!

I would have also missed out on Chris and Tyler, Alaska Fred, the Starbucks boys and Jane. All incredible people I met on the course - I know, marathons are not for socializing and I probably spent way too much time doing just that but for me it was the perfect mix of effort and fun! I had a GREAT time!

3. And of course, as I have said all season, I was nervous about my time. I won't re-hash that either but as it turns out I had plenty of time. For those of you who are just dying to know my time, the clock at the finish line said: FINISHED!!! And then it said: YOU DID IT! Followed by: IT IS NOT THE CLOCK YOU JUST RACED, OR ANYONE ELSE FOR THAT MATTER BUT SIMPLY YOURSELF! And finally it said: DEAD LAST FINISH IS GREATER THAN DID NOT FINISH WHICH GREATLY TRUMPS DID NOT START!!! I loved that very wise clock.

I want to thank Lew and Rose who gave me inspiration and came to Vancouver after only getting released from The Cancer Care Alliance two days before! Lew officially announced he is in remission and feels pretty good! I really cannot thank everyone who supported me enough. Laurie and Rick who came to Vancouver and made signs. The Wunschel's who cheered and smiled and that Tanya who can whip out incredible encouragement at the drop of a hat - Wow! Kim, Clint and Fiona who are always there for me! Dan and Bonita and Lydia who showed up for the Finish line and Victory party (I meant every word of our tequila shot toast!) - I have some pretty amazing friends! will always be indebted to each of you because I would venture to say that running a marathon is always a team sport. Everyone who cheered, yelled encouragement, rang a cowbell, stood in boredom for hours to wave for a split second - I thank you. To everyone who sent and email or FB'd encouragement. To everyone who gave a dollar! To the fabulous foursome: Bonita, Laurie, Lydia and David who honored Lew by coming up with $1000 to have his name printed on our team shirt (by the way, 200 people ran with Lew's name on their back!) To my incredible husband and little darling boy whose "Go Mommy" sign carried me through miles 16-20 - I love you and thank you! To everyone who prayed - I am sure this is why I actually finished and I thank you!

Speaking of prayer, this marathon would not have been nearly as fun without telling you that I finished the last hour with my pastor, Daniel. He is a 9 minute miler and I never expected to see him longer than a dash that would go screaming past me. Turns out he was running with his sister-in-law who was not feeling so good so their pace slowed quite a bit. That is how I came into the picture. They caught up to me and decided to keep a slower pace. I remember laughing quite a lot and truly enjoying their company. It's kind of a long story that involves our final big hill but my ill mannered self threw out an inappropriate word which as my sister later said, "Wow, running a marathon with your pastor and then cussing on top of that brings your bonding to whole new level!" Yikes....

I probably could go on and on about a million details that made me truly smile almost the entire marathon (remind me someday to tell you about the motorcycle cops who came up on me at 2 hours into it) but I am sure I would bore you. Maybe some day I will put it all down on paper.

I will say this to close. All kinds of people run marathons but it is not the same person who starts the race who finishes it. I could have never imagined that it would have turned out to be so much more that just getting it over with, but rather truly experiencing every amazing detail of it! We had a great Victory party that night and other than wearing my pink fluffy slippers to the party and my quads being a little sore on the stairs - I felt GREAT!!

Oh yeah, I know I said I was going to throw my shoes in traffic and I would NEVER NEVER NEVER run another marathon again but hmmmm........

Here we go! On to Vancouver!!

I can't believe its been one week short of one year since I signed up to Run for Lew. Yes, on May 10th 2008 I signed on that dotted line and committed to being one of thousands who said I want to be part of the cure for blood cancers. It has been a roller coaster of a year and here we are packing to head to the starting line. It almost feels like a victory just making it to that starting line...almost. Not only did I start out going to Nike in San Fransisco but I have been on two different teams, raised money, experienced rain, sleet, snow and yet more rain, sleet and snow but I have had surgery that I would have given anything to avoid, learned how to interval train, been to PT for of all things a shoulder injury (for crying out loud, who hurts their shoulder running!!) and oh ya, not lost a pound in this entire process- go figure.

More importantly Lew has had an incredible year with his radiation, chemo, 2 stem cell transplants and now so close to being myeloma free! Yes, his brothers cells are taking over!! Wow! I am sure I would have not traveled his road with as much grace, strength and humor - I would have been a raving lunatic - wait.. .I already am a raving lunatic so never mind. And more exciting news is that my tiny little team raised almost $30,000 in the fight against blood cancers!! Wow! If you would have seen us out there every Saturday in the rain looking like drowned rats you would be so inspired right now!! Another interesting fact is that we collectively ran and walked over 4,ooo miles to train for this big event - that's like walking from here to Cleveland! I think we are as ready as we are ever going to be!

My pastor from church, who is also running Vancouver, (for his 60th birthday celebration- (seriously, I can think of about one hundred other ways to celebrate) had an incredible sermon on Sunday. He used the analogy of training for a marathon with our daily walk with Christ. I have to say there are some days during my training that I have felt so close to the holy spirit and some days farther away, so when Daniel made this comparison it was powerful for me. Daniel's sermon of connecting the daily choice of choosing to train with our daily choices of choosing a life with Christ hit the nail on the head. This has really stuck with me because there were many days that I just didn't want to make the hard choice to train and it was absolutely painful to make myself get out there and run. I had to alter many parts of my life and no, I wasn't perfect, there were days I could have done a better job. But ultimately here I am ready to face my marathon day after having to make some hard choices - just like making daily hard choices to cross that ultimate finish line! Wow, I have a lot more "training" to do but I feel a new sense of enlightenment.

I am very excited to report on a couple of things:
1. When the amazing Michelle came and trained with me on my 20 mile run she had me use her fuel belt for training (she wore it because her skinny belt would not fit around my, shall we say, voluptuous hips. It worked great so I ordered one with my fingers crossed that it would fit around those voluptuous hips. It fits!!!!!!
2. My cough/cold appears to be subsiding!!! I am so glad about this since I am going to be sucking some serious wind and John says I already sound like a smoker anyway.
3. I took my GRE yesterday so, whew, one more thing off my plate!

One new challenge to report:
1. The Vancouver course is a not ipod course!! What the ***! Haven't they read the research that shows music improves performance?! I need all the help I can get so send me your singing vibes and I will try and channel them!

Part of me is nervous, nervous, nervous! I want to taste success so badly but part of me just wants to be done with ever speaking the R word ever again!! Like I said before, marathon training has been just an incredible roller coaster ride. So, I have the pashmina packed and the tiara is ready! This has been a long road but I am determined to get across that finish line if I have to crawl, cartwheel or roll to do it! Thanks to all my wonderful friends and family who have gotten me this far, I truly hang on your every word of encouragement! Here is to my next post speaking of tasting the sweet success of crossing that elusive finish line!

Knowing is not enough; we must apply.
Willing is not enough; we must do.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

The time is now to go out and be a do-er! Here I come Vancouver B.C.! GO TEAM!

The Amazing Michelle!!!

How many hero's can one girl have in her life! I truly know the blessing of such wonderful people in my life and this past Saturday was no different. Michelle, my younger sister, who by the way, had just done a half Ironman the weekend before, flew into town to coach me through my biggest run yet - 20 miles!! I was pretty nervous because besides truly hating running it is such a mystery to me. You just never know how the day is going to go and even though I had been successful at 18 miles, could it have been just a fluke?

Here we are running: Michelle wouldn't let us stop for the picture - she's hard core!

So here comes Michelle to the rescue! She didn't even blink an eye - "OF COURSE WE ARE DOING 20!! She showed up with all kinds of gear and gadgets and inspiring words. I had to laugh when she tried to get her fuel belt around me - it didn't even go halfway! It turns out this worked out great for me, she became my water sherpa!

We had three milestones: We started at Vassault Park and off we went - Point Defiance and back to Vassault for a water stop, on to the Narrows Bridge and then to Wright Park. Finally, back to Vassault. Yowza!! I had had a really low energy week of running. I just couldn't kick it! Rose even came over one day to run with me and no matter how hard she tried, I just couldn't get into it. She even tried her energy concoction of honey and cinnamon - no luck. Anyway, I was anxious about my low energy week and my ability to complete my 20. So here comes Michelle, the super hero: "Shoulders down!" "Elbows in!" "Everyone hurts at 16 miles so Go!" She called these the training miles, I think they are better known as the "bite me" miles.
It just never occurred to me that EVERYONE would be hurting. I thought just because I am the only one out of shape on my team that I was the only one hurting. She says, No Way! Everyone is pushing themselves to their limit. Well, that makes good sense! Just cause I'm not a bunny doesn't mean I'm not pushing myself to my limit so GO! And off we went and went and went! For 20 successful miles!!!! Wohoo!

No, I didn't break any records (I was still dragging) but I mostly kept to my 2:1 for 20 miles! You gotta love that Michelle who can come half way across the country and get me to go, go, go!

After we were done these words came out of my mouth, "That wasn't so bad", What!! Did I just say that?!! Then 2 more minutes went by and every muscle in my body started screaming. Yes, that was the hardest thing I have ever done...and I will be doing it again...plus some!!!

The only way of finding the limits of the possible is by going beyond them into the impossible.
Arthur C. Clarke

So here we go Taper Week 1 and 16 days to Marathon!!

Success for 18 miles!

Did someone spike his coffee? Wow! My coach was a different person! He was cheerful and smiley and looked so excited when I came in to my water stops. At first it was kind of weird, I felt like I should introduce myself. I thought about looking around thinking there must be someone behind me but since I usually am alone I know that couldn't be the case. Did he have a little gin in his latte? Well, nonetheless, I accepted his high fives with enthusiasm because when its cold, rainy and you have been out there forever who cares!

Another oddity was that I suddenly acquired two running buddies...hmmm. Was there a plot going on...again, who cares, I rather enjoyed my two new running buddies. Don't get me wrong, I'm not a pitty party - I actually really began to enjoy my solo running. I started to get into my head and then time started to fly. But I have to say, I also really enjoyed meeting two people on my team. The first person just appeared. She usually runs up front with the bunnies and I thought she was already on her way back to the parking lot. Nope, she said she wanted to run slower today - nice. Turns out she is a NICU nurse and having flown with many a NICU nurse I have a special fondness for them in my heart. She was warm and interesting and we even knew some of the same nurses.

Then the handoff occurred. Next Miss Yackety Yack showed up. She told me she was a talker and she wasn't kidding! For those of you who know me, I am sure you are laughing because usually I'm the yackety yack but since I can't talk and run this show was hers. Before I knew it Miss Yakety Yack and I were bonding as well - in a very different way than Miss NICU nurse.

Overall the run was fairly uneventful - as uneventful as 18 miles gets....did I just say that!!! It doesn't even seem real that I did 18 miles much less act so blase about it! This running thing is so wierd.

Anyway, I acquired two "new" found friends who I have a sneaking suspicion were there to keep me from running miles and to "help me" stick to my time. (Again, I decided to go with the who cares motto.)

So on to next week where I'm hoping that we might acutally have a run that isn't in the cold, rain and wind. I'll probably have to pour water on myself so it feels normal!

"Nobody said it would be easy; they just said it would be worth it" ~Unknown

The countdown begins...

We are into the home stretch! 5 weeks to go and I hope to never NEVER talk about a marathon again! I have realized that I am never going to be the poster child for running. I am never going to love it, embrace it, or want to be one with it. I haven't even had visions of playing the saxaphone this time around! What I am glad for is what it brings to Lew - I hope you have heard his good news - if not, here it is:

his "CD3+ T-cells 71% donor origin (29% host)
CD33+ myeloid cells 100% donor origin (0% host). Additionally, I was told that myeloma cells (the cancer cells) are undetectable in my bone marrow by flow cytometry. I think this is very good! I don't believe it means I am cured, but it bodes well."

When I heard this news, I immediately asked Lew if I could quit running now and he said, "NO!" Darn, I would have gladly gone outside and thrown my running shoes into traffic!


OK, so this week is a big one! We will be at the Orting Trail going for 240 minutes - this should translate to 18 miles! Yikes, I'm a little nervous given my last weeks events but I am going to try and put all that behind me and move forward - really, what else can I do?! By the way, I did get an apology from my coach for my last big run so I am really hoping things will go well. Thank you to everyone who called, emailed or FB'd all your support - I am truly hanging on your every word to get this done!

I just realized, by the time we get done training I will have done 6 half marathons-wow! Amazing!

Today was an exceptionally good training day. Tuesdays can sometimes be hard if Jack wants a little more attention during my treadmill time. Today my run was going great and he was doing great as well. I had my ipod on because somehow Sid the Science Kid or Little Einsteins just doesn't exactly inspire me to run. I saw him run out of the room and then come back. Hmm. I wonder what he was doing? Again he runs out and comes back a short time later...this time not wearing any clothes. OK, things could be worse. A naked 3 year old isn't the end of the world. He even went potty all by himself (I sure hope he washed his hands!) My run is going so good, right now I don't care if he wants to watch the rest of Little Einsteins totally in the buff. Then he leaves the room again. This time he comes back with my make-up brushes in his hands rubbing them all over his butt, "Mommy, is it OK if I rub these on my bottom?" I just smiled and said, "sure". Note to self: get new make-up brushes and it was worth one great run!

The good, the bad and the pissed off...

The Good: Well, its Rose and Lew, of course! My very dear good friends came out and braved the cold and torrents of rain to cheer on my entire team! Today was our longest run yet and Lew and Rose started us off with a pep talk and explained how the funds we are raising really do benefit patients just like him. Lew's doctors have told him, "we just need to buy time so we can make this a chronic disease, not a deadly one". Exactly what we needed to hear to get us going and mentally get us to that spot to succeed. (I was taking it all in, so much so, that I didn't snap a single picture!) Lew and Rose were next off to the water stops. It was wonderfully cheerful having them supply us water, Gatorade and salt. Rose, the eternal optimist, was also sprinkling us with "drops of sunshine"! She is a hoot! My asst. coach, Laura, has always commented on what good friends I have and today once again proved I am blessed in so many ways!

The Bad: Rain, cold, wind and shoes filled with water and pebbles. It's hard to complain when you've got such good friends cheering you on - so enough of the bad!

The Pissed Off: That's me, the pissed off one. I had hoped to be blogging about my successful 16 mile run. Unfortunately I cannot . Why you ask? Was it because I was unwilling? NO! Was it because I couldn't do it? NO! Was it because my legs fell off or the sidewalks closed down or the earth stopped spinning? NO! NO! NO!
It was because my coach, David, sagged me at 14.5 miles! What, you say?! Sagged on your practice run? Sagged while preparing your mental game?! Sagged with energy to spare?! What's up with that?!!

Good question! I have that same question! His excuse: "time's up" and then he went on with this: "it could be detrimental to your body to be on your feet this long" (oh please, I did 52 hours of labor - all standing!) His next line: "I could get in trouble as a coach if I allow you to go on" "its Team in Training national standards of coaching". Whatever-not buying it! I think the worst part is that my coaches have spent a significant amount of time telling us that we are getting down to the mental game and then the jerk sags me! Why didn't he just come right out and say "you can't do it" or "I just wanted you to get a taste of what the sag wagon will feel like at your marathon" - jerk.

Never, in my life, did I ever imagine I would be begging to keep running! But also, never, in my life, did I ever imagine I would feel like a failure after 14.5 miles. I also never imagined that I would be so mad after a practice that not a single muscle in my body hurt - the only pain I had was to the psyche.

The rest of the season is going to be interesting...

Did I pee on myself?!!!!

Post Run delirium = bright pink socks, plaid pajama bottoms, brown shirt and Grey sweatshirt, oh yea, no bangs. Quite the picture! All this loveliness with an elevated knee on the couch and a bag of ice. Running is kicking my butt! Wow! My goals were simple when I got home: 1) take a shower 2) Make it to the couch. These goals did not include fashionable attire - So success was had.
My goals for the marathon are pretty much the same and are also simple: 1) Don't have chest pain 2) Finish upright 3) Beat the sag wagon - (I'm beginning to get nervous about this one. I honestly can't figure out how I am STILL so slow.)

Today we ran 14 miles. How do I know this since I usually only pay attention to time? I got this fancy new watch, the Garmin 301, that tells me EVERYTHING! Way more than I want to know, including my heart rate. Having a watch that tells all can be problematic for the out of shape runner. Ignorance was bliss. Now, unfortunately, I am aware of how close to a heart attack I actually am! Yikes! I had been doing the 3:1 interval but today had to take that down to a 2:1 now that I know what my heart rate really is (don't ask)! Turns out this fancy Garmin is also rude. The alarms are always going off: Heart rate too high, slow down! (translated: slow down chubbs) immediately followed by: Pace too slow, speed up! (translated: speed up slacker!) So far the alarms are the most used feature. Rude, just plain rude!

At about mile 8 I get a phone call from my mentor from last season's Nike race, Courtney. She is also on the Orting Trail running with the Seattle Rock and Roll Team and they are done with their practice and are back at the parking lot. I thought she was calling to offer me a ride (which I would have taken!) but instead she is calling to tell me they are about to tow my car! WHAT?!But don't worry. Her team picked it up and moved it and I can read about it on Facebook! I love that girl and that team - they saved my bug and the pictures are great!! Go to facebook to see some TNT teamwork in action!!

When I finally get back to the parking lot my legs feel like lead and bricks and cement. My knee hurts, my bursitis hurts, my hair hurts! My whole body is numb. I have my fake smile on and I am beginning to wonder if I will make it to my car. As I'm limping to the Beetle, with my fake smile on, I began to have the oddest sensation on my leg...it's starting to get my attention! I started to panic just little thinking this is way worse than I thought...I think I just became incontinent - did I just pee on myself? Oh my gosh! OK, don't panic, there is no way my bladder fell out! Did it? If I can't run 14 miles withouut losing my bladder how am I going to run a marathon? Am I imagining this? More moisture on my leg...I stop in my tracks. I'm starting to panic just a little more thinking, how am I going to tell all those generous people who gave me money to run that I can't run AGAIN because another organ fell out. Then...ohhh.... I breathe the biggest sigh of relief...I put my water bottle back upside down and it's leaking down my leg! Oh, thank God!

Now, for an update on Lew's transplant (which is a thousand times harder than a wimpy 14 miles!) sent from Lew's letter:
"We recently received the results of the latest bone marrow biopsy. It's been 28 days since the transplant using my brother Bill's stem cells. The news is good. His cells are engrafting. Measured in a couple of different places his cells make up either 67% or 56% of the cells located there. The transplant team would have been happy with any number over 50%. The take home message is that Bill's cells are moving in! Right now I'm a mixed chimerism individual with my own marrow cells still working and Bill's new cells moving in next door and setting up shop. Additionally, the count of myeloma cells (bad buggers) in my body is markedly decreased on this biopsy, though the variance could be mostly where the sample originated as the distribution of myeloma cells in bone marrow is not homogenous.

I've gotten through the first month with very little symptoms and side effects, mostly an upset (and at times rebellious) gastro intestinal tract. I had some cardiac arrythmia, but a change in drugs seems to have eliminated that pesky problem. We are required to stay close in the Seattle area for 100 days post transplant. As Bill's cells engraft and set about creating an immune system, the danger to me is that his cells might see me, or parts of me, as foreign and mount a response to attack my cells. This is called graft versus host disease (GVHD) and it can prove fatal. The biggest danger of GVHD is in the first few months (hence the 100 days post transplant), and the most common organs attacked are the skin, liver and kidneys. I am taking drugs to protect against most of the common problems associated with this type of transplant. Believe me it's a lot of pills everyday!

The other potential problem area is infection in general. I remain very immunocompromised and susceptable to infections and viruses. We do all we can to avoid those who might be sick, and just in general large crowds of people.

Rose and I continue to appreciate all your kind thoughts, prayers, and good wishes. I'd like you all to know that you are helping me in ways you can't even realize. As I pass the one year anniversary of dealing with this cancer, I feel uniquely blessed to have you as my friends and family."
Lew

Love ya Lew! GO TEAM!

The measure of a true friend!

What does a great friend look like?! She donates money to support Lew in honor of her mother who died of breast cancer. She leaves inspirational messages that say, "I'm there for you" and she means it! Remembering her message and knowing that I needed to change my attitude on running I called Mel 3 days before my 180 minute run. "No problem", she says, "I'm there!" So after working all night at Airlift she shows up at 8am ready to go. She's smiley and enthusiastic, doesn't even bat an eye at being there. She is super patient when I want to walk more than run and she is loads of fun! So what does this saintly friend look like? She wears a pink bandanna and thinks it is so much fun to run across the Narrows bridge! She looks like this:



Mel, you are a Saint, and I love ya girl - thanks for making running fun and shifting my attitude!

What a differene a week can make!

Wow! Maybe I should have been a blubbering idiot on the streets of Tacoma long ago. I feel great! It kind of reminds me of the movie with Holly Hunter who starts out every morning with a good cry and then goes about her day happy as a clam. I doubt I could muster a cry every day but I could run out on the street once a week....maybe I'll pass on this one.

This week's running has been fantastic! Even my Saturday run of 100 minutes was pretty spectacular - well, by my standards anyway. Nothing hurt, no organs need to be removed and I did not get lost. I guess I should tell you that I ran in my neighborhood and my sweet #1 fans, John and Jack, were with me so that probably helps with the whole attitude and navigation thing but still I had a pretty good time. I think there are visions of playing the saxophone in my future. I keep waiting to get back to that day when I was training for the Nike and had a small tinge of euphoria and think I may be getting pretty close to that day. Wohoo!

I've started working on my core too. Our coach says that its the last 5.6 miles that take most marthoner's down. He says it's because of a weak core. He says you are so tired at the end you begin to slouch because your core is too weak to hold you up and this throws everything out of whack. Makes sense to me! I start doing a core workout . This isn't so bad and in my head I am looking pretty good! Apparently not as good as I thought. I see my darling 3 year old sitting on the couch with his curious George. He is staring at me with a quizical look on his face. You may have seen this look - head cocked to one side and one eye slightly closed - he says to me, "Mommy, what are you doing?" I don't reply because I have a sense that my image of me is about to change - he says, "Are you dancing?" Did he really just ask if I was dancing?! WHAT?! Dancing?! Is my dancing really that bad that it imitates a strenuous core work out?! What do I look like when I'm dancing? Red faced and sweaty like I'm having a bowel movement?!! Yikes! It's probably a good thing I've been getting drunk all these years when I'm out dancing. Visions of Elaine from Seinfeld pop into my head. Next time I'm getting a babysitter.

The $10 Run!

This almost makes me want to cry...wait, do I always cry anyway? Ask my dear friend Donna Reddell who says I am "stone heart" and can get through anything without crying...ahh, the good old days of not crying... Well, anyway, that was a long time ago and this was Saturday and my 130 minute run! OK, so I'm still a little out of shape (I know, I know - you ask, "how can she STILL be out of shape and have been training for soooooo loooong?! I don't know!! Well....maybe I do know...something about a whole lot of wine and potato chips).

Did you ever notice my brain is like a pinball machine? It just goes from one thought to another to another, well, that is whole another story and I am trying to tell you about my run on Saturday. OK, I'll try again.

In case you haven't noticed I have been a little doom and gloom. I can't seem to motivate myself, to run or anything else for that matter. So Saturday I showed up for 130 minute run and I was already mad. I knew I would be running totally by myself and not a bathroom in sight. I would just be out there on the street by myself after feeling guilty for leaving my sweet family at home because this season is totally different than last time and they just can't come and just feeling blah.
I arrived late. When I got there I found the Seattle Rock and Roll summer team at practice day 1. Wow! My old coach and 8 of my Nike teammates were there! What should have inspired me made me sad. I wish I was on their team. After hearing what turned out to be an inspiring story we headed out for our run. I found a port a potty and headed out for I thought would be over 2 hours of blah. Nothing was changing my bad attitude - not Lew, not Casting Crowns, nothing. Then I saw all these people running. It was the Rock and Roll people! They had their first run at 30 minutes so they had already turned around and were coming back at me. Then I saw Courntey and Jessica and Robin and I just started crying and crying and crying. Can you still have crazy hormones after a hysterectomy?! I cried for everything right there on the streets of Tacoma. For what could have been...a marathon already completed, a baby come and gone, for still being out of shape, for running by myself, for world peace... you name, I cried it! Look at the picture - my body is swollen from running ( and potato chips and wine) and my eyes are swollen from crying. I think I had a mini attitude adjustment. I ran on.

130 minutes is a long time! I sometimes get lost on these long runs. The truth is since I started running out of Point Defiance Park I almost ALWAYS get lost. So I kept running and running and running. (I even had a mini Forest Gump moment when I saw a pile of smashed dog poopy -(s*!% happens) on the road -yikes, I wonder who stepped in that?! I was just glad it wasn't a steaming pile on my man shoe!)
ANYWAY! I went left when I should have gone right and before I knew it I was enjoying the view. Incredible homes and the Puget Sound. Wow! And most importantly a little old man in his front yard taking care of his plants. Since I run so slow its easy to hear people strike up a conversation. The sweet old man asked me what I was doing? So I told him I was running for Lew and what multiple myeloma is and about fundraising and being out of shape and lost. And then he gave me TEN DOLLARS! I could cry thinking about it! This sweet old man (who was hard of hearing, by the way - thank God I am loud!) reaches into his wallet and gives me TEN DOLLARS!!!!!!! OK, I AM crying thinking about it! And off I go, running lost on a Tacoma street with a serious attitude adjustment!!!!!!! After that, I listened to Casting Crowns "In Me" over and over again and had another attitude adjustment. I even made it back 5 minutes early!!! My coach was astonished! Since he didn't see me at the water stop he just assumed I quit and went home. WRONG! I was busy being led by the holy spirit having, yet another, attitude adjustment!

Here are my top three reasons to have attitude adjustment:
1. A little old man on the streets of Tacoma gave me TEN DOLLARS!
2. ALL OF MY FRIENDS AND FAMILY gave me $4,186.00 to run a marathon!
3. I am running a marathon in Canada so if I drop on the course its means socialized medicine and its FREE CARE!!! .......Until I pay Airlift the $20,000 to get me to Seattle.....wait... Ed Eroe is gone and Airlift will do the right thing.....(remind me to tell you that story one day!)

So here I am. One day post 130 minute run and my quads are hurting and I am FEELING GOOD! On to the next week! Let's cure Lew AND run, run, run!

What a week!

Wow, what a week! It started out with a really crappy run, then I went to a fantastic stem cell party hosted by Lew of course and finally I updated my Team in Training fundraising page! Whew!

I'll start out with my favorite part of the whole week! Lew got his stem cell transplant on Wednesday! Woo-hoo! This is so exciting with the thought of a cure in the future! A bunch of us met outside Seattle Cancer Care Alliance for "rehearsal" and then proceeded inside for serenading and a cheerleading party for Lew's stem cells. It was a fabulous experience and the staff at Seattle Cancer Care Alliance were incredibly supportive of our shenanigans! It was great to see Lew, Rose and Lew's brother and donor, Bill with happy, smiley, and strong faces! (See pictures) It made me really love this quote of the week:

Cancer is So LIMITED:

It cannot cripple love

It cannot shatter hope

It cannot corrode faith

It cannot destroy peace

It cannot kill friendship

It cannot silence courage

It cannot invade the soul

It cannot conquer the spirit"

This brings me to finally updating my fundraising page. Many of you have asked about it and I meant to do it months ago but finally here it is:
http://pages.teamintraining.org/wa/vancouvr09/cmcconnell
You can just click on the link in the link section to the right of the blog. I left my old TNT Nike fundraising page available to click on so you could continue to see the incredible people who have donated and left words of inspiration. Thanks to everyone for the support! My next big plan (not sure when this will actually start) is to have a fun run! Not the sort of fun run I have told so many of you about (the Reno pashmina wearing not at all fun run) but a TRULY fun run. I have many details in my head but for those of you who do and don't like to run keep this in mind for some fundraising fun in the future!

The worst part of my week was my long run on Saturday. We met at Vassault park in the typical cold and fog. As usual I was last ...and alone. Not so terrible except its no fun being by yourself when you get into some questionable neighborhoods. I seemed to be really dragging on this run and even after some Goo and Shotblocks just couldn't get it really going. I couldn't even get the positive thinking going. Most of my thoughts were: "this is really stupid, I just drove over an hour to come run by myself in neighborhoods that I wouldn't normally go in. Hmmm....not the brightest move". Those thoughts continued on to "this is no fun, why am here, I wish I had finished the Nike with my other coach and mentor". Finally, I just turned around. Blah. That's it, no happy ending to this day.

The overall good news is I have had several good runs since then so hopefully am back on track.

Keep Lew and Rose in your prayers this week as some of the transplant side effects may start to kick in. Also, Lew's brother and stem cell donor, Bill, who travels back home today to be with his wife as she starts chemo for newly diagnosed breast cancer.

The big slow down: Snow, rain, ice and trochanteric bursitis

First the holidays, then the weather and now tronchanteric bursitis. Huh? What? I said, trochanteric bursitis! Yes, its a real diagnosis! I always thought bursitis was a word little old ladies made up to have conversations with other little old ladies. (Don't say it! I'm not that old!) Anyway, Christmas night I started limping and after 3 days of hopping around I finally went to an urgent care. After much argument (from me of course) the doctor tells me the bursa on my tronchanter (that's hip to you non-medical's) is inflamed from overuse and poor stretching. Go figure. I've only been training for a marathon for what feels like FOREVER (will it ever end)! So I stuffed the side of my underwear full of ice, swallowed renal failure doses of Ibuprofen and off I went...to work that is. I just started running again yesterday - 3 weeks off and I feel like I'm starting all over again -again!...and again!...and again! (will this ever end?). So not much to report in the way of progress.

I hate that its "wake up and go home to dark" season again because running outside is problematic. The treadmill is good for that but then when switching to running outside on a non-moving earth makes for zero fun.

Enough of my complaining - here is my quote for the month (supplied my sister, Michelle, on my new favorite shirt she gave me for Christmas) :
"The Miracle Isn't That I Finished, The Miracle Is That I Had The Courage To Start"

Here's to Miracles!! Go Team.

Mission Moment:
Go Lew! Lew is due to start his next transplant any day now. His brother Bill is in town preparing to donate his stem cells. Lots of prayers for everyone involved! Bill's wife was recently diagnosed with breast cancer and is trying to hurry to get back home to be with her during her treatment.

Fundraising:
I really do promise to update my link to donate soon. I have two papers due this week so why I am even blogging I don't know except that I am offically a nut ball! I will do my best to take care of that soon. Thank you to everyone who keeps asking about donating - I love you!

The sausage lady goes running...

"What lies behind us and what lies before us are small compared to what lies within us"

Ralph Waldo Emerson

OK, its time to REALLY get going! I'll admit it, I've been a slacker, having a really hard time getting motivated. Maybe it has something to do with the holidays, the overeating, completing my first quarter back to school. I may even be a little cocky thinking I was halfway trained from before. Today was extra hard because it was 34 degrees outside and all my running clothes are summer wear. So I drug out my old winter clothes from my thinner days and ended up looking like a sausage casing! Not to be deterred I put my fancy capri's and standard red fleece on over my sausage clothes. I thought no problem this will work fine. It worked great until I actually started running and my too tight leggings started sliding down to my crotch and my too tight tank started riding up and restricted my inhalation and exhalation! (It reminded me of the time I was working with Lori "Zucchini" and wore my too tight flight suit - I think I exploded at altitude!) Anyway, the excuses are endless but nonetheless its time to get serious. I think of Lew often and know that he doesn't get any time off, he has to keep going to treatments and keep his attitude up.
Today, at practice, we met our official honor patient. Of course, Lew is my number one honor patient, but Isaac is our team honor patient. He is four years old and has been going through chemo since he was 18 months old. He showed up to cheer us on and asked us to run to "stomp out cancer". If that doesn't make you want to run (and cry at the same time) nothing will! Well, to tell you the truth, today at practice I mostly kept running to stay ahead of who I wasn't sure were the drug dealers or the undercover cops. Some running trails are really creepy! I know what you're thinking, "where was Clint to stave off the creepy people"? Oh Yah! Well, it turns out Clint is young and athletic and runs way faster than I do! (Enter expletive about Clint here!) Yes, so it looks like its just going to be me bringing up the rear...again! Oh well, time to embrace my tortoise self - what I lack in speed I certainly make up for in perseverance and stamina!

Mission Moment: At Team in Training we describe mission moments as the very person, feeling or motivation that keeps us focused and moving forward. For me, that mission is Lew. I think of him when I am running and need that extra boost. All of you are also my mission moments! Every one of you who reads this blog, sends words of encouragement, donates funds and thinks of ways to help Lew and so many others like him! You are what makes Team in Training successful! I thought for this time around (so you could hear other stories besides "sausage lady stories") I thought I would be sure to include some of my Lew stories and mission moments. So here goes:
Lew is feeling better after what had to be a challenging ablative chemo and autologous stem cell transplant. He maintains an incredibly cheerful attitude and continues to crack me up with his sense of humor. At our last visit, right after walking in the door, he tells me that he is doing quite well except for the fact that he is considering investing in earth toned underwear! OK, that was hysterical and if you didn't get it, think side effects of chemo! He then goes on to show me an "onion article" that he thought was exactly his sense of humor and made us both laugh out loud.
Click here to share in the twisted comedy:

The Onion Video

For Thanksgiving, as best laid plans were made to share it with Lew and Rose, we had to go to a quick plan B. I got a cold and since Lew is still immunosuppressed we ended up having a non-traditional event. See picture of Pilgrims and Indians! There is ALWAYS a plan B and we used walkie talkies and a crack in the door to celebrate good times, good friends and thankfulness!
Go Team!!
P.S. I will be updating my fundraising and marathon links as soon as I get through my final next week! Stay tuned...

Here We Go...AGAIN!!

Is it really November already?! Yes, it is and that means I have signed up for the Vancouver marathon and started training once again! This time not so much drama but certainly enough that I would be starting all over again from square one. It turns out, not entirely from square one as I have sports bra, shoes, orthotics, and plus size running capri's in my bag of goodies from my last attempt. I have dusted off the treadmill and started again with the one and one - this is just painful to think of starting all over again when my teammates have all tasted sweet success, hugged a hunky fireman and are wearing Tiffany jewels! Anyway, other than a big giant cramp in my hamstring I actually didn't do as bad as the firt time around and even went for the 2 and 1 during my week 1 training! Yes, that's right, 2 minutes of running straight out of the barrel! You go girl!
It is also very ironic that my starting out again coincides with Lew's big week of ablative chemo and stem cell transplant. Friday was Lew's big day and I had planned to be there for his big transplant celebration. Unfortunately, although I am healthy, Jack woke up with a fever and it just seemed too risky to be around Lew. Sorry Lew and Rose - I wanted to be there for you! We have so many 1940's musicals to catch up on!
I am planning on continuing with fundraising (there is just absolutely no good reason to run a marathon unless we are going to cure myeloma!) and because Vancouver has a lower fundrasising goal than San Fransisco more money will be going directly towards finding a cure for Lew! If anyone out there wants to join me I will meet with you every week to run and raise money!
As an update, the wonderful Clint Smith has stepped up to the plate!! He has joined the team! Yesterday, he asked me if we "are going to be the only two fatties on the team?" Hmm....so glad that I can serve as an inspiration to fat people everwhere. Yes Clint, we are! (It turns out my uterus didn't weigh 50 pounds like I thought it would!) This team looks exceptionally young and fit so its just you and me bringing up the rear! My pastor says he is going to run the marathon as well - I am not sure if this is for him or for me - as last time I did see Jesus a time or two.
For all of you who have supported me through this HUGE event - I continue to thank you and count you as a blessing each day! I am going to run this marathon for you, for me and especially for Lew!! Go Team!

Finally An Update!

So sorry for not getting back to most of you sooner! I've actually felt pretty blah until today. Day 1-3 weren't bad at all, I was thinking, what a piece of cake - I should have stayed in the marathon! Day 4 -5 were pretty miserable - I was not only thinking no marathon but would I ever recover? Day 6-7 got a little better and today is pretty great! As far as pathology I have all good news! During surgery my surgeon sent a frozen section that come back without any trophoblastic cells. Monday, the pathology report on the entire mass and uterus came back negative for any cancer cells (it turns out the pregnancy was embedded into the muscle of the uterus so there really was not another option) and today I FINALLY got a zero HCG! It is quite bittersweet to hear the good news of a negative HCG when for so long that is exactly what you are fighting to hear a positive result on.
I have learned what an incredible support system I have! Laurie Bethke, the amazing Lew and Rose (who drove all the way from Bellingham) and of course John were all on hand for my pre-surgery hysteria including the hugging of the anesthesiologist! Laurie, bless her heart, was my personal nurse during the whole event. She provided thoughtful treats of lotions and potions and heat packs and other unmentionable amenities - Wow, she is amazing! And thanks to wonderful IV narcotics it was like girls night out for me - she might have a different take on this!
My dear friend, Tanya, provided a wonderful visit with treats and "piece of serenity" that I will cherish forever. Overlake hospital and the amazing Dr. Haines and his nurse, Kathy who both handed me Kleenex until I considered stock in the company. And the list of amazing people who keep bringing meals and cards and emails! My Team in Training coaches and teammates have all sent such wonderful support - I can't wait to get back to running again - (could I still have lingering anesthesia fogging my brain?!)
I have not forgotten any of you who called and left messages or emailed etc... I felt every single prayer and it provided more than you will ever know! Thank you to everyone for getting me through this incredible ordeal. And now, (knock on wood) nothing is going to stop me now!! Onward to Vancouver!!!

Not giving up!!

I have really struggled with this post, taking it and out of draft and not sure really what I wanted to say. At first I was angry/sad/discouraged all at the same time. I'm not ready to end our reproductive life! I am running a marathon! I am too distrustful of medical people (oh wait, that's me) to have a big surgery! I am freaked out about it being trobphoblastic! My blog started out: "a tiny setback turns big" "and are you kidding me!!" I was well on my way to a full blown angry/pity party! But now that I've had a week to think about it and sort of relax about it (OK, not even close to relax), I think I am instead going to go with "there is no way this is going to stop me!!" and "I AM running a marathon!!" It may not be in October but I AM running a marathon!!
So after last week's surgery center/ambulance event I had my follow up appt. with not such good news. They found a 12 cm mass in my uterus, most likely retained products from our pregnancy, that will not respond to drugs, D&C etc... Some concerns are another hemorrhage, infection or that it is trophoblastic disease. Unfortunately, after much discussion and many medical opinions the only option left is a hysterectomy. Deep breath/long pause/silence....

It turns out hysterectomy and marathon do not go hand in hand. Interestingly enough when my doctor told me, my first words were, "but I am running a marathon and people gave me money"! He said, "no, your not running a marathon". After trying to think of every way possible to have a full blown abdominal surgery and still run in October it looks like the surgery can't wait and the running will have to. I immediately called Team in Training straight out of the parking lot and they so kindly are transferring all my fundraising to the next marathon I am available for. I am thinking Vancouver B.C. in May?!
So anyway, I am still freaked out, but not entirely hysterical, and surgery is scheduled for Wednesday with a 3 day wait on getting the pathology back on the mass. Thank you to everyone who called, sent cards, left messages and posted here. You are all fabulous and appreciated! I will not be deterred! I will continue to support Lew and every one of you who gave me a donation - I AM RUNNING A MARATHON!

A Tiny Setback

Where do I even begin to tell this story?! OK, so if you are keeping up with the blog you know the whole methotrexate story and the continued elevated HCG saga. So, I went to a specialist who after much labwork and multiple diagnostic procedures decides to do a repeat D&C. I thought, no problem! I will have it on Thursday, be back to running on Friday and have my long run on Saturday. Well, the best laid plans....the next thing I know I am waking up from anesthesia in an ambulance! My first words are, "what happened?" The medic says, "you lost a lot of blood", I say, "am I tachycardic?" he, says, "No, you are bradycardic" I say, "how much fluid have I had?" He says, "this is your 3rd liter". I say, "oh". When we get to the ER I hear that I lost 1200ml of blood and was hypotensive in the OR. Hmm... I am watching the monitor and my heart rate is running between 48-58 and BP 92/62. It seems my vitals have been in this range for a while so the nurse says to me, "It so strange, its almost like you are a marathon runner!!! I lit up like a fireplug and am absolutely beaming and I say to her, "well, as a matter of fact, I'm training to run a marathon!!! That nurse just made my day and every single drop of blood was worth it (well almost)! John pipes in and tells the nurse, "you do know you are going on the blog". She looks somewhat baffled but I guess it never occurred to her to ask me if I was in fact a runner?! I am sure she did the marathon scan and thought, um no, not a chance.

Which leads to the the next conversation that John and I had. He apparently thought it was pretty funny to inform me that maybe I should consider getting a medic alert bracelet that says: despite my "incredible" physique I am in fact a marathon runner - Beware of great vital signs! (OK, this made me laugh out loud!)
So today, I should be running 12 miles and I am home rebuilding red blood cells. I asked my doctor if I could still run and she thought I had lost my mind but I am really am afraid to miss any training. As it is, I am barely going to make the time limit and this is crucial training time. I feel like I am just about to get over the hump. Today, was going to be our second 12 mile run and it was going to be pretty telling that the first time wasn't a fluke.
I have my next doctor appt. on Tuesday so I may try and do a long run on Wednesday. Anybody game for meeting me at Pt. Defiance park for a long run?

More Thank You's!!

This has been an incredible team effort and there aren't enough thank yous to go around! To those of you who sent me cash donations and didn't get recognized on my fundraising page: David Pilkenton, Kim Smith, my parents, and my dear sister, Michelle - aka: my faraway mentor! Wow! Thank you!
To everyone who has worked a Saturday shift for me so I can attend team practices: Ann Kellogg, Meesa Taylor, Lisa Wochester, Adam, Sue Pederson, Vicki - Wow, thank you!
To everyone who has sent words of encouragement - I think of every one of them when I am running - no kidding! Wow! Thanks!
To everyone who sees me, doesn't run the opposite direction and excitedly asks how my training is going (I know you would rather poke your eyes out than hear me talk about running yet again!) Thank you!
And of course my dear husband (who I have been teasing a lot lately) - for always being there so I can train, setting me up with fancy gear (ipods and nikeplus technology etc...), fixing the treadmill, being supportive and teaching Jack to say Go Team Mommy!
All this and I haven't even run the marathon yet! Wow! I just couldn't wait to say thank you! I am sure there are many more to come!!

A Runner's High?

I had an awesome run tonight! I happened to be on the treadmill because it got late before I could fit it in and I was feeling good. It wasn't a particularly long run but I was enjoying it (did I really just say that?!). I could see the moon outside and I was smiling and thanking God for making it this far - yes, I was actually smiling while running! The next thing I know I was visualizing myself making it to the finish line thinking maybe fat girls can run a marathon and then another thought came into my head, "I think I can play the saxophone!" Where did that come from? Is this a runner's high?! So of course I go and tell my husband. "I think I had a runners high, I think I can play the saxophone!" His reply, (think flat affect here) "What? Have you lost your mind? You ARE high. Not that I want to make your blog again." So of course I'm outing him - I said, You are soooo going on the blog!!!! Yes, we are still speaking....for now! And maybe I will take up the saxophone!

An Update on Lew

Most of you are receiving Lew's email update but for those of you who are not, I know you are quite interested in how he is doing. Lew is heading into one of his toughest battles yet. In September he will be doing high dose chemo followed a few weeks later by the first of two stem cell transplants. He says he feels like, so far, he is weathering this chemo well with just some complaints of insomnia, an increased appetite and some peripheral neuropathy.
Since Lew and Rose live in Bellingham and are receiving their treatment at Seattle Cancer Care Alliance they are certainly facing an added challenge not only with driving down for twice a week chemo's but also because during stem cell transplants they will need to be within 30 minutes of the hospital - not an easy task in Seattle.
The good news: one major marker in Lew's myeloma cells have shown a marked decrease AND Lew is still maintaining his positive attitude and sense of humor. Rose of course remains a rock and as usual is there for everyone!
Prayers for them both!