Here we go! On to Vancouver!!

I can't believe its been one week short of one year since I signed up to Run for Lew. Yes, on May 10th 2008 I signed on that dotted line and committed to being one of thousands who said I want to be part of the cure for blood cancers. It has been a roller coaster of a year and here we are packing to head to the starting line. It almost feels like a victory just making it to that starting line...almost. Not only did I start out going to Nike in San Fransisco but I have been on two different teams, raised money, experienced rain, sleet, snow and yet more rain, sleet and snow but I have had surgery that I would have given anything to avoid, learned how to interval train, been to PT for of all things a shoulder injury (for crying out loud, who hurts their shoulder running!!) and oh ya, not lost a pound in this entire process- go figure.

More importantly Lew has had an incredible year with his radiation, chemo, 2 stem cell transplants and now so close to being myeloma free! Yes, his brothers cells are taking over!! Wow! I am sure I would have not traveled his road with as much grace, strength and humor - I would have been a raving lunatic - wait.. .I already am a raving lunatic so never mind. And more exciting news is that my tiny little team raised almost $30,000 in the fight against blood cancers!! Wow! If you would have seen us out there every Saturday in the rain looking like drowned rats you would be so inspired right now!! Another interesting fact is that we collectively ran and walked over 4,ooo miles to train for this big event - that's like walking from here to Cleveland! I think we are as ready as we are ever going to be!

My pastor from church, who is also running Vancouver, (for his 60th birthday celebration- (seriously, I can think of about one hundred other ways to celebrate) had an incredible sermon on Sunday. He used the analogy of training for a marathon with our daily walk with Christ. I have to say there are some days during my training that I have felt so close to the holy spirit and some days farther away, so when Daniel made this comparison it was powerful for me. Daniel's sermon of connecting the daily choice of choosing to train with our daily choices of choosing a life with Christ hit the nail on the head. This has really stuck with me because there were many days that I just didn't want to make the hard choice to train and it was absolutely painful to make myself get out there and run. I had to alter many parts of my life and no, I wasn't perfect, there were days I could have done a better job. But ultimately here I am ready to face my marathon day after having to make some hard choices - just like making daily hard choices to cross that ultimate finish line! Wow, I have a lot more "training" to do but I feel a new sense of enlightenment.

I am very excited to report on a couple of things:
1. When the amazing Michelle came and trained with me on my 20 mile run she had me use her fuel belt for training (she wore it because her skinny belt would not fit around my, shall we say, voluptuous hips. It worked great so I ordered one with my fingers crossed that it would fit around those voluptuous hips. It fits!!!!!!
2. My cough/cold appears to be subsiding!!! I am so glad about this since I am going to be sucking some serious wind and John says I already sound like a smoker anyway.
3. I took my GRE yesterday so, whew, one more thing off my plate!

One new challenge to report:
1. The Vancouver course is a not ipod course!! What the ***! Haven't they read the research that shows music improves performance?! I need all the help I can get so send me your singing vibes and I will try and channel them!

Part of me is nervous, nervous, nervous! I want to taste success so badly but part of me just wants to be done with ever speaking the R word ever again!! Like I said before, marathon training has been just an incredible roller coaster ride. So, I have the pashmina packed and the tiara is ready! This has been a long road but I am determined to get across that finish line if I have to crawl, cartwheel or roll to do it! Thanks to all my wonderful friends and family who have gotten me this far, I truly hang on your every word of encouragement! Here is to my next post speaking of tasting the sweet success of crossing that elusive finish line!

Knowing is not enough; we must apply.
Willing is not enough; we must do.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

The time is now to go out and be a do-er! Here I come Vancouver B.C.! GO TEAM!

The Amazing Michelle!!!

How many hero's can one girl have in her life! I truly know the blessing of such wonderful people in my life and this past Saturday was no different. Michelle, my younger sister, who by the way, had just done a half Ironman the weekend before, flew into town to coach me through my biggest run yet - 20 miles!! I was pretty nervous because besides truly hating running it is such a mystery to me. You just never know how the day is going to go and even though I had been successful at 18 miles, could it have been just a fluke?

Here we are running: Michelle wouldn't let us stop for the picture - she's hard core!

So here comes Michelle to the rescue! She didn't even blink an eye - "OF COURSE WE ARE DOING 20!! She showed up with all kinds of gear and gadgets and inspiring words. I had to laugh when she tried to get her fuel belt around me - it didn't even go halfway! It turns out this worked out great for me, she became my water sherpa!

We had three milestones: We started at Vassault Park and off we went - Point Defiance and back to Vassault for a water stop, on to the Narrows Bridge and then to Wright Park. Finally, back to Vassault. Yowza!! I had had a really low energy week of running. I just couldn't kick it! Rose even came over one day to run with me and no matter how hard she tried, I just couldn't get into it. She even tried her energy concoction of honey and cinnamon - no luck. Anyway, I was anxious about my low energy week and my ability to complete my 20. So here comes Michelle, the super hero: "Shoulders down!" "Elbows in!" "Everyone hurts at 16 miles so Go!" She called these the training miles, I think they are better known as the "bite me" miles.
It just never occurred to me that EVERYONE would be hurting. I thought just because I am the only one out of shape on my team that I was the only one hurting. She says, No Way! Everyone is pushing themselves to their limit. Well, that makes good sense! Just cause I'm not a bunny doesn't mean I'm not pushing myself to my limit so GO! And off we went and went and went! For 20 successful miles!!!! Wohoo!

No, I didn't break any records (I was still dragging) but I mostly kept to my 2:1 for 20 miles! You gotta love that Michelle who can come half way across the country and get me to go, go, go!

After we were done these words came out of my mouth, "That wasn't so bad", What!! Did I just say that?!! Then 2 more minutes went by and every muscle in my body started screaming. Yes, that was the hardest thing I have ever done...and I will be doing it again...plus some!!!

The only way of finding the limits of the possible is by going beyond them into the impossible.
Arthur C. Clarke

So here we go Taper Week 1 and 16 days to Marathon!!

Success for 18 miles!

Did someone spike his coffee? Wow! My coach was a different person! He was cheerful and smiley and looked so excited when I came in to my water stops. At first it was kind of weird, I felt like I should introduce myself. I thought about looking around thinking there must be someone behind me but since I usually am alone I know that couldn't be the case. Did he have a little gin in his latte? Well, nonetheless, I accepted his high fives with enthusiasm because when its cold, rainy and you have been out there forever who cares!

Another oddity was that I suddenly acquired two running buddies...hmmm. Was there a plot going on...again, who cares, I rather enjoyed my two new running buddies. Don't get me wrong, I'm not a pitty party - I actually really began to enjoy my solo running. I started to get into my head and then time started to fly. But I have to say, I also really enjoyed meeting two people on my team. The first person just appeared. She usually runs up front with the bunnies and I thought she was already on her way back to the parking lot. Nope, she said she wanted to run slower today - nice. Turns out she is a NICU nurse and having flown with many a NICU nurse I have a special fondness for them in my heart. She was warm and interesting and we even knew some of the same nurses.

Then the handoff occurred. Next Miss Yackety Yack showed up. She told me she was a talker and she wasn't kidding! For those of you who know me, I am sure you are laughing because usually I'm the yackety yack but since I can't talk and run this show was hers. Before I knew it Miss Yakety Yack and I were bonding as well - in a very different way than Miss NICU nurse.

Overall the run was fairly uneventful - as uneventful as 18 miles gets....did I just say that!!! It doesn't even seem real that I did 18 miles much less act so blase about it! This running thing is so wierd.

Anyway, I acquired two "new" found friends who I have a sneaking suspicion were there to keep me from running miles and to "help me" stick to my time. (Again, I decided to go with the who cares motto.)

So on to next week where I'm hoping that we might acutally have a run that isn't in the cold, rain and wind. I'll probably have to pour water on myself so it feels normal!

"Nobody said it would be easy; they just said it would be worth it" ~Unknown

The countdown begins...

We are into the home stretch! 5 weeks to go and I hope to never NEVER talk about a marathon again! I have realized that I am never going to be the poster child for running. I am never going to love it, embrace it, or want to be one with it. I haven't even had visions of playing the saxaphone this time around! What I am glad for is what it brings to Lew - I hope you have heard his good news - if not, here it is:

his "CD3+ T-cells 71% donor origin (29% host)
CD33+ myeloid cells 100% donor origin (0% host). Additionally, I was told that myeloma cells (the cancer cells) are undetectable in my bone marrow by flow cytometry. I think this is very good! I don't believe it means I am cured, but it bodes well."

When I heard this news, I immediately asked Lew if I could quit running now and he said, "NO!" Darn, I would have gladly gone outside and thrown my running shoes into traffic!


OK, so this week is a big one! We will be at the Orting Trail going for 240 minutes - this should translate to 18 miles! Yikes, I'm a little nervous given my last weeks events but I am going to try and put all that behind me and move forward - really, what else can I do?! By the way, I did get an apology from my coach for my last big run so I am really hoping things will go well. Thank you to everyone who called, emailed or FB'd all your support - I am truly hanging on your every word to get this done!

I just realized, by the time we get done training I will have done 6 half marathons-wow! Amazing!

Today was an exceptionally good training day. Tuesdays can sometimes be hard if Jack wants a little more attention during my treadmill time. Today my run was going great and he was doing great as well. I had my ipod on because somehow Sid the Science Kid or Little Einsteins just doesn't exactly inspire me to run. I saw him run out of the room and then come back. Hmm. I wonder what he was doing? Again he runs out and comes back a short time later...this time not wearing any clothes. OK, things could be worse. A naked 3 year old isn't the end of the world. He even went potty all by himself (I sure hope he washed his hands!) My run is going so good, right now I don't care if he wants to watch the rest of Little Einsteins totally in the buff. Then he leaves the room again. This time he comes back with my make-up brushes in his hands rubbing them all over his butt, "Mommy, is it OK if I rub these on my bottom?" I just smiled and said, "sure". Note to self: get new make-up brushes and it was worth one great run!

The good, the bad and the pissed off...

The Good: Well, its Rose and Lew, of course! My very dear good friends came out and braved the cold and torrents of rain to cheer on my entire team! Today was our longest run yet and Lew and Rose started us off with a pep talk and explained how the funds we are raising really do benefit patients just like him. Lew's doctors have told him, "we just need to buy time so we can make this a chronic disease, not a deadly one". Exactly what we needed to hear to get us going and mentally get us to that spot to succeed. (I was taking it all in, so much so, that I didn't snap a single picture!) Lew and Rose were next off to the water stops. It was wonderfully cheerful having them supply us water, Gatorade and salt. Rose, the eternal optimist, was also sprinkling us with "drops of sunshine"! She is a hoot! My asst. coach, Laura, has always commented on what good friends I have and today once again proved I am blessed in so many ways!

The Bad: Rain, cold, wind and shoes filled with water and pebbles. It's hard to complain when you've got such good friends cheering you on - so enough of the bad!

The Pissed Off: That's me, the pissed off one. I had hoped to be blogging about my successful 16 mile run. Unfortunately I cannot . Why you ask? Was it because I was unwilling? NO! Was it because I couldn't do it? NO! Was it because my legs fell off or the sidewalks closed down or the earth stopped spinning? NO! NO! NO!
It was because my coach, David, sagged me at 14.5 miles! What, you say?! Sagged on your practice run? Sagged while preparing your mental game?! Sagged with energy to spare?! What's up with that?!!

Good question! I have that same question! His excuse: "time's up" and then he went on with this: "it could be detrimental to your body to be on your feet this long" (oh please, I did 52 hours of labor - all standing!) His next line: "I could get in trouble as a coach if I allow you to go on" "its Team in Training national standards of coaching". Whatever-not buying it! I think the worst part is that my coaches have spent a significant amount of time telling us that we are getting down to the mental game and then the jerk sags me! Why didn't he just come right out and say "you can't do it" or "I just wanted you to get a taste of what the sag wagon will feel like at your marathon" - jerk.

Never, in my life, did I ever imagine I would be begging to keep running! But also, never, in my life, did I ever imagine I would feel like a failure after 14.5 miles. I also never imagined that I would be so mad after a practice that not a single muscle in my body hurt - the only pain I had was to the psyche.

The rest of the season is going to be interesting...

Did I pee on myself?!!!!

Post Run delirium = bright pink socks, plaid pajama bottoms, brown shirt and Grey sweatshirt, oh yea, no bangs. Quite the picture! All this loveliness with an elevated knee on the couch and a bag of ice. Running is kicking my butt! Wow! My goals were simple when I got home: 1) take a shower 2) Make it to the couch. These goals did not include fashionable attire - So success was had.
My goals for the marathon are pretty much the same and are also simple: 1) Don't have chest pain 2) Finish upright 3) Beat the sag wagon - (I'm beginning to get nervous about this one. I honestly can't figure out how I am STILL so slow.)

Today we ran 14 miles. How do I know this since I usually only pay attention to time? I got this fancy new watch, the Garmin 301, that tells me EVERYTHING! Way more than I want to know, including my heart rate. Having a watch that tells all can be problematic for the out of shape runner. Ignorance was bliss. Now, unfortunately, I am aware of how close to a heart attack I actually am! Yikes! I had been doing the 3:1 interval but today had to take that down to a 2:1 now that I know what my heart rate really is (don't ask)! Turns out this fancy Garmin is also rude. The alarms are always going off: Heart rate too high, slow down! (translated: slow down chubbs) immediately followed by: Pace too slow, speed up! (translated: speed up slacker!) So far the alarms are the most used feature. Rude, just plain rude!

At about mile 8 I get a phone call from my mentor from last season's Nike race, Courtney. She is also on the Orting Trail running with the Seattle Rock and Roll Team and they are done with their practice and are back at the parking lot. I thought she was calling to offer me a ride (which I would have taken!) but instead she is calling to tell me they are about to tow my car! WHAT?!But don't worry. Her team picked it up and moved it and I can read about it on Facebook! I love that girl and that team - they saved my bug and the pictures are great!! Go to facebook to see some TNT teamwork in action!!

When I finally get back to the parking lot my legs feel like lead and bricks and cement. My knee hurts, my bursitis hurts, my hair hurts! My whole body is numb. I have my fake smile on and I am beginning to wonder if I will make it to my car. As I'm limping to the Beetle, with my fake smile on, I began to have the oddest sensation on my leg...it's starting to get my attention! I started to panic just little thinking this is way worse than I thought...I think I just became incontinent - did I just pee on myself? Oh my gosh! OK, don't panic, there is no way my bladder fell out! Did it? If I can't run 14 miles withouut losing my bladder how am I going to run a marathon? Am I imagining this? More moisture on my leg...I stop in my tracks. I'm starting to panic just a little more thinking, how am I going to tell all those generous people who gave me money to run that I can't run AGAIN because another organ fell out. Then...ohhh.... I breathe the biggest sigh of relief...I put my water bottle back upside down and it's leaking down my leg! Oh, thank God!

Now, for an update on Lew's transplant (which is a thousand times harder than a wimpy 14 miles!) sent from Lew's letter:
"We recently received the results of the latest bone marrow biopsy. It's been 28 days since the transplant using my brother Bill's stem cells. The news is good. His cells are engrafting. Measured in a couple of different places his cells make up either 67% or 56% of the cells located there. The transplant team would have been happy with any number over 50%. The take home message is that Bill's cells are moving in! Right now I'm a mixed chimerism individual with my own marrow cells still working and Bill's new cells moving in next door and setting up shop. Additionally, the count of myeloma cells (bad buggers) in my body is markedly decreased on this biopsy, though the variance could be mostly where the sample originated as the distribution of myeloma cells in bone marrow is not homogenous.

I've gotten through the first month with very little symptoms and side effects, mostly an upset (and at times rebellious) gastro intestinal tract. I had some cardiac arrythmia, but a change in drugs seems to have eliminated that pesky problem. We are required to stay close in the Seattle area for 100 days post transplant. As Bill's cells engraft and set about creating an immune system, the danger to me is that his cells might see me, or parts of me, as foreign and mount a response to attack my cells. This is called graft versus host disease (GVHD) and it can prove fatal. The biggest danger of GVHD is in the first few months (hence the 100 days post transplant), and the most common organs attacked are the skin, liver and kidneys. I am taking drugs to protect against most of the common problems associated with this type of transplant. Believe me it's a lot of pills everyday!

The other potential problem area is infection in general. I remain very immunocompromised and susceptable to infections and viruses. We do all we can to avoid those who might be sick, and just in general large crowds of people.

Rose and I continue to appreciate all your kind thoughts, prayers, and good wishes. I'd like you all to know that you are helping me in ways you can't even realize. As I pass the one year anniversary of dealing with this cancer, I feel uniquely blessed to have you as my friends and family."
Lew

Love ya Lew! GO TEAM!

The measure of a true friend!

What does a great friend look like?! She donates money to support Lew in honor of her mother who died of breast cancer. She leaves inspirational messages that say, "I'm there for you" and she means it! Remembering her message and knowing that I needed to change my attitude on running I called Mel 3 days before my 180 minute run. "No problem", she says, "I'm there!" So after working all night at Airlift she shows up at 8am ready to go. She's smiley and enthusiastic, doesn't even bat an eye at being there. She is super patient when I want to walk more than run and she is loads of fun! So what does this saintly friend look like? She wears a pink bandanna and thinks it is so much fun to run across the Narrows bridge! She looks like this:



Mel, you are a Saint, and I love ya girl - thanks for making running fun and shifting my attitude!