Did I pee on myself?!!!!

Post Run delirium = bright pink socks, plaid pajama bottoms, brown shirt and Grey sweatshirt, oh yea, no bangs. Quite the picture! All this loveliness with an elevated knee on the couch and a bag of ice. Running is kicking my butt! Wow! My goals were simple when I got home: 1) take a shower 2) Make it to the couch. These goals did not include fashionable attire - So success was had.
My goals for the marathon are pretty much the same and are also simple: 1) Don't have chest pain 2) Finish upright 3) Beat the sag wagon - (I'm beginning to get nervous about this one. I honestly can't figure out how I am STILL so slow.)

Today we ran 14 miles. How do I know this since I usually only pay attention to time? I got this fancy new watch, the Garmin 301, that tells me EVERYTHING! Way more than I want to know, including my heart rate. Having a watch that tells all can be problematic for the out of shape runner. Ignorance was bliss. Now, unfortunately, I am aware of how close to a heart attack I actually am! Yikes! I had been doing the 3:1 interval but today had to take that down to a 2:1 now that I know what my heart rate really is (don't ask)! Turns out this fancy Garmin is also rude. The alarms are always going off: Heart rate too high, slow down! (translated: slow down chubbs) immediately followed by: Pace too slow, speed up! (translated: speed up slacker!) So far the alarms are the most used feature. Rude, just plain rude!

At about mile 8 I get a phone call from my mentor from last season's Nike race, Courtney. She is also on the Orting Trail running with the Seattle Rock and Roll Team and they are done with their practice and are back at the parking lot. I thought she was calling to offer me a ride (which I would have taken!) but instead she is calling to tell me they are about to tow my car! WHAT?!But don't worry. Her team picked it up and moved it and I can read about it on Facebook! I love that girl and that team - they saved my bug and the pictures are great!! Go to facebook to see some TNT teamwork in action!!

When I finally get back to the parking lot my legs feel like lead and bricks and cement. My knee hurts, my bursitis hurts, my hair hurts! My whole body is numb. I have my fake smile on and I am beginning to wonder if I will make it to my car. As I'm limping to the Beetle, with my fake smile on, I began to have the oddest sensation on my leg...it's starting to get my attention! I started to panic just little thinking this is way worse than I thought...I think I just became incontinent - did I just pee on myself? Oh my gosh! OK, don't panic, there is no way my bladder fell out! Did it? If I can't run 14 miles withouut losing my bladder how am I going to run a marathon? Am I imagining this? More moisture on my leg...I stop in my tracks. I'm starting to panic just a little more thinking, how am I going to tell all those generous people who gave me money to run that I can't run AGAIN because another organ fell out. Then...ohhh.... I breathe the biggest sigh of relief...I put my water bottle back upside down and it's leaking down my leg! Oh, thank God!

Now, for an update on Lew's transplant (which is a thousand times harder than a wimpy 14 miles!) sent from Lew's letter:
"We recently received the results of the latest bone marrow biopsy. It's been 28 days since the transplant using my brother Bill's stem cells. The news is good. His cells are engrafting. Measured in a couple of different places his cells make up either 67% or 56% of the cells located there. The transplant team would have been happy with any number over 50%. The take home message is that Bill's cells are moving in! Right now I'm a mixed chimerism individual with my own marrow cells still working and Bill's new cells moving in next door and setting up shop. Additionally, the count of myeloma cells (bad buggers) in my body is markedly decreased on this biopsy, though the variance could be mostly where the sample originated as the distribution of myeloma cells in bone marrow is not homogenous.

I've gotten through the first month with very little symptoms and side effects, mostly an upset (and at times rebellious) gastro intestinal tract. I had some cardiac arrythmia, but a change in drugs seems to have eliminated that pesky problem. We are required to stay close in the Seattle area for 100 days post transplant. As Bill's cells engraft and set about creating an immune system, the danger to me is that his cells might see me, or parts of me, as foreign and mount a response to attack my cells. This is called graft versus host disease (GVHD) and it can prove fatal. The biggest danger of GVHD is in the first few months (hence the 100 days post transplant), and the most common organs attacked are the skin, liver and kidneys. I am taking drugs to protect against most of the common problems associated with this type of transplant. Believe me it's a lot of pills everyday!

The other potential problem area is infection in general. I remain very immunocompromised and susceptable to infections and viruses. We do all we can to avoid those who might be sick, and just in general large crowds of people.

Rose and I continue to appreciate all your kind thoughts, prayers, and good wishes. I'd like you all to know that you are helping me in ways you can't even realize. As I pass the one year anniversary of dealing with this cancer, I feel uniquely blessed to have you as my friends and family."
Lew

Love ya Lew! GO TEAM!

The measure of a true friend!

What does a great friend look like?! She donates money to support Lew in honor of her mother who died of breast cancer. She leaves inspirational messages that say, "I'm there for you" and she means it! Remembering her message and knowing that I needed to change my attitude on running I called Mel 3 days before my 180 minute run. "No problem", she says, "I'm there!" So after working all night at Airlift she shows up at 8am ready to go. She's smiley and enthusiastic, doesn't even bat an eye at being there. She is super patient when I want to walk more than run and she is loads of fun! So what does this saintly friend look like? She wears a pink bandanna and thinks it is so much fun to run across the Narrows bridge! She looks like this:



Mel, you are a Saint, and I love ya girl - thanks for making running fun and shifting my attitude!

What a differene a week can make!

Wow! Maybe I should have been a blubbering idiot on the streets of Tacoma long ago. I feel great! It kind of reminds me of the movie with Holly Hunter who starts out every morning with a good cry and then goes about her day happy as a clam. I doubt I could muster a cry every day but I could run out on the street once a week....maybe I'll pass on this one.

This week's running has been fantastic! Even my Saturday run of 100 minutes was pretty spectacular - well, by my standards anyway. Nothing hurt, no organs need to be removed and I did not get lost. I guess I should tell you that I ran in my neighborhood and my sweet #1 fans, John and Jack, were with me so that probably helps with the whole attitude and navigation thing but still I had a pretty good time. I think there are visions of playing the saxophone in my future. I keep waiting to get back to that day when I was training for the Nike and had a small tinge of euphoria and think I may be getting pretty close to that day. Wohoo!

I've started working on my core too. Our coach says that its the last 5.6 miles that take most marthoner's down. He says it's because of a weak core. He says you are so tired at the end you begin to slouch because your core is too weak to hold you up and this throws everything out of whack. Makes sense to me! I start doing a core workout . This isn't so bad and in my head I am looking pretty good! Apparently not as good as I thought. I see my darling 3 year old sitting on the couch with his curious George. He is staring at me with a quizical look on his face. You may have seen this look - head cocked to one side and one eye slightly closed - he says to me, "Mommy, what are you doing?" I don't reply because I have a sense that my image of me is about to change - he says, "Are you dancing?" Did he really just ask if I was dancing?! WHAT?! Dancing?! Is my dancing really that bad that it imitates a strenuous core work out?! What do I look like when I'm dancing? Red faced and sweaty like I'm having a bowel movement?!! Yikes! It's probably a good thing I've been getting drunk all these years when I'm out dancing. Visions of Elaine from Seinfeld pop into my head. Next time I'm getting a babysitter.

The $10 Run!

This almost makes me want to cry...wait, do I always cry anyway? Ask my dear friend Donna Reddell who says I am "stone heart" and can get through anything without crying...ahh, the good old days of not crying... Well, anyway, that was a long time ago and this was Saturday and my 130 minute run! OK, so I'm still a little out of shape (I know, I know - you ask, "how can she STILL be out of shape and have been training for soooooo loooong?! I don't know!! Well....maybe I do know...something about a whole lot of wine and potato chips).

Did you ever notice my brain is like a pinball machine? It just goes from one thought to another to another, well, that is whole another story and I am trying to tell you about my run on Saturday. OK, I'll try again.

In case you haven't noticed I have been a little doom and gloom. I can't seem to motivate myself, to run or anything else for that matter. So Saturday I showed up for 130 minute run and I was already mad. I knew I would be running totally by myself and not a bathroom in sight. I would just be out there on the street by myself after feeling guilty for leaving my sweet family at home because this season is totally different than last time and they just can't come and just feeling blah.
I arrived late. When I got there I found the Seattle Rock and Roll summer team at practice day 1. Wow! My old coach and 8 of my Nike teammates were there! What should have inspired me made me sad. I wish I was on their team. After hearing what turned out to be an inspiring story we headed out for our run. I found a port a potty and headed out for I thought would be over 2 hours of blah. Nothing was changing my bad attitude - not Lew, not Casting Crowns, nothing. Then I saw all these people running. It was the Rock and Roll people! They had their first run at 30 minutes so they had already turned around and were coming back at me. Then I saw Courntey and Jessica and Robin and I just started crying and crying and crying. Can you still have crazy hormones after a hysterectomy?! I cried for everything right there on the streets of Tacoma. For what could have been...a marathon already completed, a baby come and gone, for still being out of shape, for running by myself, for world peace... you name, I cried it! Look at the picture - my body is swollen from running ( and potato chips and wine) and my eyes are swollen from crying. I think I had a mini attitude adjustment. I ran on.

130 minutes is a long time! I sometimes get lost on these long runs. The truth is since I started running out of Point Defiance Park I almost ALWAYS get lost. So I kept running and running and running. (I even had a mini Forest Gump moment when I saw a pile of smashed dog poopy -(s*!% happens) on the road -yikes, I wonder who stepped in that?! I was just glad it wasn't a steaming pile on my man shoe!)
ANYWAY! I went left when I should have gone right and before I knew it I was enjoying the view. Incredible homes and the Puget Sound. Wow! And most importantly a little old man in his front yard taking care of his plants. Since I run so slow its easy to hear people strike up a conversation. The sweet old man asked me what I was doing? So I told him I was running for Lew and what multiple myeloma is and about fundraising and being out of shape and lost. And then he gave me TEN DOLLARS! I could cry thinking about it! This sweet old man (who was hard of hearing, by the way - thank God I am loud!) reaches into his wallet and gives me TEN DOLLARS!!!!!!! OK, I AM crying thinking about it! And off I go, running lost on a Tacoma street with a serious attitude adjustment!!!!!!! After that, I listened to Casting Crowns "In Me" over and over again and had another attitude adjustment. I even made it back 5 minutes early!!! My coach was astonished! Since he didn't see me at the water stop he just assumed I quit and went home. WRONG! I was busy being led by the holy spirit having, yet another, attitude adjustment!

Here are my top three reasons to have attitude adjustment:
1. A little old man on the streets of Tacoma gave me TEN DOLLARS!
2. ALL OF MY FRIENDS AND FAMILY gave me $4,186.00 to run a marathon!
3. I am running a marathon in Canada so if I drop on the course its means socialized medicine and its FREE CARE!!! .......Until I pay Airlift the $20,000 to get me to Seattle.....wait... Ed Eroe is gone and Airlift will do the right thing.....(remind me to tell you that story one day!)

So here I am. One day post 130 minute run and my quads are hurting and I am FEELING GOOD! On to the next week! Let's cure Lew AND run, run, run!

What a week!

Wow, what a week! It started out with a really crappy run, then I went to a fantastic stem cell party hosted by Lew of course and finally I updated my Team in Training fundraising page! Whew!

I'll start out with my favorite part of the whole week! Lew got his stem cell transplant on Wednesday! Woo-hoo! This is so exciting with the thought of a cure in the future! A bunch of us met outside Seattle Cancer Care Alliance for "rehearsal" and then proceeded inside for serenading and a cheerleading party for Lew's stem cells. It was a fabulous experience and the staff at Seattle Cancer Care Alliance were incredibly supportive of our shenanigans! It was great to see Lew, Rose and Lew's brother and donor, Bill with happy, smiley, and strong faces! (See pictures) It made me really love this quote of the week:

Cancer is So LIMITED:

It cannot cripple love

It cannot shatter hope

It cannot corrode faith

It cannot destroy peace

It cannot kill friendship

It cannot silence courage

It cannot invade the soul

It cannot conquer the spirit"

This brings me to finally updating my fundraising page. Many of you have asked about it and I meant to do it months ago but finally here it is:
http://pages.teamintraining.org/wa/vancouvr09/cmcconnell
You can just click on the link in the link section to the right of the blog. I left my old TNT Nike fundraising page available to click on so you could continue to see the incredible people who have donated and left words of inspiration. Thanks to everyone for the support! My next big plan (not sure when this will actually start) is to have a fun run! Not the sort of fun run I have told so many of you about (the Reno pashmina wearing not at all fun run) but a TRULY fun run. I have many details in my head but for those of you who do and don't like to run keep this in mind for some fundraising fun in the future!

The worst part of my week was my long run on Saturday. We met at Vassault park in the typical cold and fog. As usual I was last ...and alone. Not so terrible except its no fun being by yourself when you get into some questionable neighborhoods. I seemed to be really dragging on this run and even after some Goo and Shotblocks just couldn't get it really going. I couldn't even get the positive thinking going. Most of my thoughts were: "this is really stupid, I just drove over an hour to come run by myself in neighborhoods that I wouldn't normally go in. Hmmm....not the brightest move". Those thoughts continued on to "this is no fun, why am here, I wish I had finished the Nike with my other coach and mentor". Finally, I just turned around. Blah. That's it, no happy ending to this day.

The overall good news is I have had several good runs since then so hopefully am back on track.

Keep Lew and Rose in your prayers this week as some of the transplant side effects may start to kick in. Also, Lew's brother and stem cell donor, Bill, who travels back home today to be with his wife as she starts chemo for newly diagnosed breast cancer.

The big slow down: Snow, rain, ice and trochanteric bursitis

First the holidays, then the weather and now tronchanteric bursitis. Huh? What? I said, trochanteric bursitis! Yes, its a real diagnosis! I always thought bursitis was a word little old ladies made up to have conversations with other little old ladies. (Don't say it! I'm not that old!) Anyway, Christmas night I started limping and after 3 days of hopping around I finally went to an urgent care. After much argument (from me of course) the doctor tells me the bursa on my tronchanter (that's hip to you non-medical's) is inflamed from overuse and poor stretching. Go figure. I've only been training for a marathon for what feels like FOREVER (will it ever end)! So I stuffed the side of my underwear full of ice, swallowed renal failure doses of Ibuprofen and off I went...to work that is. I just started running again yesterday - 3 weeks off and I feel like I'm starting all over again -again!...and again!...and again! (will this ever end?). So not much to report in the way of progress.

I hate that its "wake up and go home to dark" season again because running outside is problematic. The treadmill is good for that but then when switching to running outside on a non-moving earth makes for zero fun.

Enough of my complaining - here is my quote for the month (supplied my sister, Michelle, on my new favorite shirt she gave me for Christmas) :
"The Miracle Isn't That I Finished, The Miracle Is That I Had The Courage To Start"

Here's to Miracles!! Go Team.

Mission Moment:
Go Lew! Lew is due to start his next transplant any day now. His brother Bill is in town preparing to donate his stem cells. Lots of prayers for everyone involved! Bill's wife was recently diagnosed with breast cancer and is trying to hurry to get back home to be with her during her treatment.

Fundraising:
I really do promise to update my link to donate soon. I have two papers due this week so why I am even blogging I don't know except that I am offically a nut ball! I will do my best to take care of that soon. Thank you to everyone who keeps asking about donating - I love you!

The sausage lady goes running...

"What lies behind us and what lies before us are small compared to what lies within us"

Ralph Waldo Emerson

OK, its time to REALLY get going! I'll admit it, I've been a slacker, having a really hard time getting motivated. Maybe it has something to do with the holidays, the overeating, completing my first quarter back to school. I may even be a little cocky thinking I was halfway trained from before. Today was extra hard because it was 34 degrees outside and all my running clothes are summer wear. So I drug out my old winter clothes from my thinner days and ended up looking like a sausage casing! Not to be deterred I put my fancy capri's and standard red fleece on over my sausage clothes. I thought no problem this will work fine. It worked great until I actually started running and my too tight leggings started sliding down to my crotch and my too tight tank started riding up and restricted my inhalation and exhalation! (It reminded me of the time I was working with Lori "Zucchini" and wore my too tight flight suit - I think I exploded at altitude!) Anyway, the excuses are endless but nonetheless its time to get serious. I think of Lew often and know that he doesn't get any time off, he has to keep going to treatments and keep his attitude up.
Today, at practice, we met our official honor patient. Of course, Lew is my number one honor patient, but Isaac is our team honor patient. He is four years old and has been going through chemo since he was 18 months old. He showed up to cheer us on and asked us to run to "stomp out cancer". If that doesn't make you want to run (and cry at the same time) nothing will! Well, to tell you the truth, today at practice I mostly kept running to stay ahead of who I wasn't sure were the drug dealers or the undercover cops. Some running trails are really creepy! I know what you're thinking, "where was Clint to stave off the creepy people"? Oh Yah! Well, it turns out Clint is young and athletic and runs way faster than I do! (Enter expletive about Clint here!) Yes, so it looks like its just going to be me bringing up the rear...again! Oh well, time to embrace my tortoise self - what I lack in speed I certainly make up for in perseverance and stamina!

Mission Moment: At Team in Training we describe mission moments as the very person, feeling or motivation that keeps us focused and moving forward. For me, that mission is Lew. I think of him when I am running and need that extra boost. All of you are also my mission moments! Every one of you who reads this blog, sends words of encouragement, donates funds and thinks of ways to help Lew and so many others like him! You are what makes Team in Training successful! I thought for this time around (so you could hear other stories besides "sausage lady stories") I thought I would be sure to include some of my Lew stories and mission moments. So here goes:
Lew is feeling better after what had to be a challenging ablative chemo and autologous stem cell transplant. He maintains an incredibly cheerful attitude and continues to crack me up with his sense of humor. At our last visit, right after walking in the door, he tells me that he is doing quite well except for the fact that he is considering investing in earth toned underwear! OK, that was hysterical and if you didn't get it, think side effects of chemo! He then goes on to show me an "onion article" that he thought was exactly his sense of humor and made us both laugh out loud.
Click here to share in the twisted comedy:

The Onion Video

For Thanksgiving, as best laid plans were made to share it with Lew and Rose, we had to go to a quick plan B. I got a cold and since Lew is still immunosuppressed we ended up having a non-traditional event. See picture of Pilgrims and Indians! There is ALWAYS a plan B and we used walkie talkies and a crack in the door to celebrate good times, good friends and thankfulness!
Go Team!!
P.S. I will be updating my fundraising and marathon links as soon as I get through my final next week! Stay tuned...